The Misery of I

Work for a living. Have children. Work for their living. So they can work for their children to live, in order for their children to, Lord willing, make a living for their children. And so it goes…

Ad naseum.

The routine perpetuated by those in the generations above mine has been left mostly unquestioned for centuries. Millions of families have raised their children to believe that their purpose is to find a spouse, procreate, and live happily as they rock in their chairs at family reunions and admire the immortality of their last name tearing through the house in the form of auspicious youth, as their own bones grow brittle and their hearts begin to fail. We are taught that marriage and children are the two most cherished, life transforming experiences in life.

So why, in light of these lessons, are marriage rates and birth rates not only falling, but also plummeting? Statistically, birth rates have been falling since 2008, and have currently reached an historical low. Marriage rates have fallen dramatically since the 70’s and are continuing to do so at a growing rate (especially in cities). Why is that?

The answer might be simple. You see, we’ve left this question untouched for centuries, the question of “why?” We have been doing just fine without it, and nobody has thought it odd to continue living in this manner.

That is, until now.

This generation has dared to address the question, “Why?” and with skeptical glares, they indignantly ask, “Why should I give my life to such a dizzying routine, which will ultimately continue regressing into an infinite loop of child-bearing and death? Shouldn’t someone break the cycle at some point and indulge in the work that has gone into this?”

And that question, coupled curiously with the dramatic rise in social media and the deliberate crippling of religious voice has left this generation in a very peculiar position. We have before us a question with no clear answer. And we are witnessing the death of purpose, identity, and value in the sea of existential silence as the only reasonable responses surface.

And, oh God, we are so desperate.

Some resort to iPhone apps in which the ultimate purpose is to pop bubbles, slash fruit, jump cute birds over hills, or line up candy figures endlessly. Others find some transcendental purpose in the workforce, as companies indicate that they are more successful in hiring when purpose is emphasized rather than dedication (as was for the generation preceding the current one). Others work for the weekend and reach the apex of their existence in the weekly high inherent to the expensive liquors, sloppy dancing, empty laughter, casual sex, and Sunday service hangovers. Yet, all of these people have something very important in common: they are trying desperately to distract themselves from the brutal reality staring them in the face, namely, that everything they do has no lasting meaning or purpose.

It’s depressing. But whatever, it’s real.

There is another category of people, however. But this group of people is quite different. They don’t try to distract themselves from meaninglessness with trite, banal rituals or mindless routine. They don’t retreat into the dark corners of their room to lose the triviality of their lives in video games or porn. Instead, they find purpose in their lives through the expression of who they are at their very core. They experience like no generation has before. Their lives are constantly new, filled with enriching people, places, and ideas, exotic foods, and cultural encounters. They become the embodiment of who they wish to be, dedicated to filling their life with travel, adventure, and stories. These people are unafraid of the question “why?” because they know why. And everyday is filled with their resounding answer to this question.

And, although these people are virtually idolized in our culture, I pity them far more than anyone else, because they, unlike the others, have addressed the question fervently, and have failed miserably to answer it to any degree of satisfaction because, at the very foundation of their purpose, lies one huge letter that keeps them from truly experiencing life, from truly becoming who they were created to be. It’s the letter “I”, and it is quite a miserable letter. The answer to the question “what do I do with my life?” is answered by the pursuit of self-betterment, the writing of one’s story. Yet, the flaw resides not in the answer, but the question. Beneath the seemingly plentiful life of adventure and travel lies an enormous, gaping hole left in their souls that, as it is filled more and more with “I”, echoes louder, crying for the eternal purpose for which they were created, the purpose of glorifying God. The right question to ask is not, “What do I do with my life?” but rather, “How am I to give this life back to God, its rightful owner?”

You see, there exists a magical place where we can pursue all of our own desires, be ourselves, be free from the judgment of others, indulge in the inclinations of our heart, and live our lives the way we want to.

It’s called hell.

Hate and Homosexuality

A man approaches a Christian and asks him if he believes homosexuality is a sin. Tacit to his question is the greatly-feared dichotomy “If you don’t support homosexuals, you hate them.”

*The man smiles as the microphone inches closer to the Christian’s face*

It’s called a false dilemma.

You present two choices as if they’re the only available options and force the victim to select between the two, without informing the individual that other options exist. It’s fallacious.

Unfortunately, the gay pride movement has been hijacked by a particular false dilemma, a logical fallacy that has led to bitter controversy between two groups, namely, Christians opposed to homosexuality and those who favor it (not strictly Christians who favor it). The fallacy goes something like this: “If you don’t support homosexuals, you hate them.”

And then, once the microphone is shoved in the face of Christians, they tremble and stutter, fearing the inevitability of the evils inherent to either option.

Choice 1: If the Christian sides with homosexuality, he is heralded by the culture for his willingness to think progressively, embrace tolerance, and position himself in line with the flow of modern morality and values. However, he also faces opposition to centuries of church doctrine, teaching on the sinful nature of embracing such practices. Is it worth it (or right)?

Choice 2: On the other hand, if the Christian opts to voice opposition to homosexuality, he is immediately bombarded with terrible titles like “bigoted”, “close-minded”, “judgmental”, “intolerant”, or “hateful”, titles assigned by groups who claim to be widely accepting and open to all types of people and beliefs (the irony is just so rich).

*The Christian sighs into the microphone and shrugs*

The church is very divided on this matter. In fact, many have left churches because of this issue. Here is what the Bible says (briefly) about homosexuality:

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” – 1 Corinthians 6:9

“You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” – Leviticus 18:22

“For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” – Romans 1:26-27

Christians who favor homosexuality are split on these verses. Some argue that the verses are merely taken out of context, while others contend that the Bible is the result of human contrivances, or was a product of the culture of that time period (i.e. not trustworthy and inferior to modern cultural morality). Both issues would require separate articles (or even books) to address them, however, I will say in passing that it is difficult to take those verses out of context, and the inerrancy of scripture is a much deeper matter that should leave any serious Christian horribly unsettled

But those are separate matters. The pressing question is this: “is it hateful for a Christian to voice opposition to homosexuality if he believes that the Bible condemns it?”

In short, no. In fact, it can’t be (if done properly). Christian beliefs and values don’t allow for it. For a Christian, the most urgent call with which he is faced is the salvation of others. Everything he does is to be necessarily directed at glorifying God, and included in this is his unwavering devotion to ensuring that he has done everything possible to provide his fellow human beings with the truth, and he is to speak that truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). And this is done not because homosexuality somehow harms the Christian, but because the Christian loves and cares deeply for another human being who, according to what he believes, is sinning. This isn’t a judgmental act or one done from a hypocritical position of pride. It is one performed with overflowing love, a love that is bound by eternity, defined by passion and zeal, and constituted by an absolute humility and selfless concern for another’s ultimate flourishing, even if it means facing harsh criticism. And if it is done with love, it can’t be hateful.

[“I love you too much to be silent.”]

The Christian is held captive by that which he believes to be true. Ultimately true. He does not have the luxury of forfeiting or suspending his beliefs for the demands of the culture, even when faced with bitter labels or potential isolation. He is a servant of a sacred text, a text that necessarily does not condone acts he is called to embrace. Yet, he is urged by the culture to divorce himself from his beliefs, compromise his devotion, and adhere to a standard that breaks the very foundation of his beliefs. What else can he do but hold dear to the demands of his own beliefs or crumble beneath the pressure?

That isn’t very fair. Would you want to belong to a culture that berates people who refuse to abandon the core values of their heart? That certainly isn’t accepting, loving, or tolerant…

[The failure to tolerate intolerance …is intolerant.

Forbidding someone force belief …is the forcing of one’s belief

Condemning another’s judgment …is judgmental]

*At last, the Christian steps to the microphone and speaks*

“I do not believe this is right. I know that, according to the Bible, which I believe to be the infallible word of God, He decrees perfect laws that are both timeless and given in love to His people. Therefore, I can show no greater love than to uphold these laws and give these transcendent words of life to my brothers and sisters whom I desperately want to see with me in eternity. The most hateful thing I could do is remain silent, keeping from you that which I believe to be the path to human flourishing, ultimate joy, and eternal salvation. I find myself in a position reminiscent to that of Martin Luther as he, with an ancient microphone thrust into his face, sheepishly proclaimed:

‘I consider myself convicted by the testimony of Holy Scripture, which is my basis; my conscience is captive to the Word of God. Thus I cannot and will not recant, because acting against one’s conscience is neither safe nor sound. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen.’”